If Your Life Sucks, It’s Because You Suck

How is your current health, wealth, and relationships? If it’s far from ideal, then you really have only one person to blame: You. I know it’s mean to say, but your life sucks because you suck.

I know it is very tempting to blame our parents for our less-than-desired upbringing and for failing to prepare us for the real world.

I know it’s tempting to blame the media for brainwashing the masses, thus affecting how people perceive and respond to you.

I know it’s tempting to blame your current work or home environment for making you feel stressed and unhealthy.

I know it’s [insert thing you want to blame and person or thing on which you want to put the reason.]

The fact of the matter is you alone have the power to change your life. If a person is nasty to you or treats you poorly, it’s because you let him do so. It seems that even when that person is absent from your current surroundings, he still has power over you. Merely thinking about it upsets you, sending your heart rate through the roof, and leaving you feeling bad.

What’s happening here? The truth is he only has power and control over you because you choose to let him have power over you. After all, how exactly is he affecting you if he is not even there?

At the same token, you can let someone who just cut you off on the freeway make you stark-raving mad. Or, you can say to yourself, “Hmmm…that person must be in a rush.” Shift your perception, let it go and be done with it. Enjoy the rest of your day rather than let that anger boil over.

In other words, your thinking has the power to either enslave you or free you, but only if you put in the work.

Life Sucks. Or Does It?

Now, ask yourself an objective question while we’re on the topic: Are your thoughts constantly full of anger and resentment? Are you constantly blaming other people and conditions for your problems? If you are, then you have a bad case of the victim mentality, and it’s time to do something about it today.

Start by monitoring your thoughts to see how much they are poisoning you. One way to do this is to write a 500-word journal of what happened to you today. Write down your thoughts about the situation. It doesn’t really matter what specifically you write about. What you are really looking for is this:

  • Are you blaming anyone or anything in particular for your problems?
  • How do you feel? Are you happy and passionate? Or, are you filled with anger and resentment?

Your journal entry, then, provides a clear look into your thoughts.

When you are conscious of your thoughts, when you are able to monitor them, then and only then can you start to change them.

While you’re consciously monitoring your thoughts, start the daily practice of gratitude. Be grateful for what you already have, but also challenge yourself to be grateful for what you currently do not have but desire.

Putting Yourself in Harmony With Your Goals

It is in putting yourself in harmony with the good that you desire that you start working your way towards it. Gratitude reframes our thoughts and how we perceive the world. You may have heard the old saying, “Fake it until you make it.” In terms of improving your current life situation, you cannot expect to solve a problem with the same thinking that created those problems in the first place.

This also applies to making your dreams come true, too: You cannot get to the place of your dreams from where you currently are. In fact, it’s impossible. In order to get to your dreams, you have to come from the place of your dreams.

You have to first believe it is possible. Then, the solution to actually making that dream come true will come from that place. You will have placed yourself at the frequency of the solution rather than reside in the frequency of the problem. This is how gratitude works.

The opposite is true. When you constantly try to solve your problems or find a solution with the same thinking that created the problem in the first place, all you will do is create of more of the same. It’s this constant rumination and dwelling on the issues which causes you to get the same old results. You literally become stuck until you can step away from the problem and look at it from a different angle.

I Know I Was a Bit Rough…

Admit it. You likely were a little irritated and angry when you first read the title of this article. You might have even rallied against what I was saying. How can my life suck because I suck? How is any of this my fault? I didn’t want to get into that accident on the freeway. I didn’t to be late for work today. I didn’t want all this debt. Didn’t want. Didn’t want.

You see the solution here: Stop thinking about what you didn’t want. You are trying to solve your problems with the same thinking that created them in first place. You got exactly what you did not want. See how it works both ways? Do yourself a favor: Think about what you do want.

The brain is such a wonderful tool. Yet, it was designed to be risk-adverse in order to protect us. Once you know what it is doing to you, to protect you from harm and thus from reaching and attaining your dreams and your goals, you can start to play with it. You can start to reprogram it. You can start going after what you really want.

If your life sucks, it’s because you suck. Conversely, if your life is great, it’s great because you are great. Decide today what you want and go after it with decisiveness and commitment.

Author: Benson Wong

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